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Posted by: Jack
« on: February 26, 2025, 12:24:29 pm »

When I was working there, there wasn't an exact criteria.  It was up to the person assigning the punishment to judge based on the severity of the offense and the student's past behavior, but also on the reason that student is attending BCA, and their attitude at the time the decision is made.

In Nick's case, he's there to strengthen his knowledge, but also his ability to function in a more strict, formal environment.

To me, as people grow older, they should be held to higher standards and face stricter penalties, until one is prepared to assume their adult responsibilities, and face consequences much more serious than a sore bottom.
Posted by: db105
« on: February 26, 2025, 05:09:33 am »

So what's the criteria they use to decide when to paddle on trousers, trousers down, or trousers and underpants down?

I'm surprised they make an older student like Nick lower his trousers. I would have expected them to use that for younger students.
Posted by: Jack
« on: February 25, 2025, 09:41:01 pm »

Quote from: db105 on February 25, 2025, 07:30:06 pm
Quote from: Jack on February 24, 2025, 02:48:26 pm
Nick was paddled three times at BCA last semester - one on his pants for excessive tardies, once with slacks down for sneaking off campus for lunch, and one with pants down for disrupting class (excessive chatter). 

I always have trouble with the word pants in American vs British English. When you say pants down, is that the same as slacks down, or is it bare?

Trousers down.  BCA can paddle trousers down when needed, but have to have a parent (or approved substitute) there to lower trousers and pants.
Posted by: db105
« on: February 25, 2025, 07:30:06 pm »

Quote from: Jack on February 24, 2025, 02:48:26 pm
Nick was paddled three times at BCA last semester - one on his pants for excessive tardies, once with slacks down for sneaking off campus for lunch, and one with pants down for disrupting class (excessive chatter). 

I always have trouble with the word pants in American vs British English. When you say pants down, is that the same as slacks down, or is it bare?
Posted by: Jack
« on: February 24, 2025, 02:48:26 pm »

Since Nick was one of the first kids to get paddled under the new regime, I thought it was time to update his file.

Nick had a lot of trouble settling in during his first semester.  As a reminder, he was homeschooled, so he's used to being self-directed, but that includes work and play, and getting into a classroom situation is hard for him.  His grades are doing pretty good, and he adjusted to my homework folder quickly, but his behavior isn't so good. 

Nick was paddled three times at BCA last semester - one on his pants for excessive tardies, once with slacks down for sneaking off campus for lunch, and one with pants down for disrupting class (excessive chatter). 

He had some trouble with.... anxiety? tension? It was reaching the point where I was going to spank him as a release, but he was resistant to the idea, so I ended up having him shower, putting him in the hot tub with a glass of Curaçao, and then (dried and back in his briefs), I took him upstairs and rubbed his back and shoulders until he fell asleep.  That helped a lot, so we've been doing it every three to four weeks, usually on a weekend night so he can sleep in the next morning. 

He'd gotten a bit lapse about doing chores, especially keeping his bedroom up to standards, which is why I paddled him a few weeks ago.

Oh, Nick is using Van's car for now.  I still have a lot of kids (either grandkids, nephews, or tribe) who attend BCA, so Nick helps getting people home, which is one of his chores.

Posted by: Jack
« on: September 26, 2024, 04:46:34 pm »

Quote from: Zyngaru on September 26, 2024, 02:58:43 pm
At his age I wouldn't expect a spanking in his future unless, he might do something on purpose just to see if you would still give his bottom a warming and convince to himself that he is really a part of your family and not just a squatter or guest.  The things that come into a boy's mind are strange to adults sometimes, but they tend to want to ensure their security and boundaries are there.

I'm not positive, but I've known Nick since he was about five.  I know Joe was eleven or 12 when I started working with him, and he's about 7 years older than Nick.  I know Nick used to hang out with Kenny and his friends sometimes and was around here a lot with when I had younger kids around (various grandkids, the Tidwells, Ennis Strouse (who's also a senior at BCA this year, and has stayed here long term at times, if not exactly lived here)).  I can't tell you how many times I spanked him over those years, but I know he got a couple with Chas Tidwell and more than a few by himself, and more than one or two with PJ and/or Marcus' boys).  The only way I see a problem is if he decides to test me on curfew, and, if I'm going to let him use a car, I will stress that he needs to be a good example for Duncan and Connor about following all the rules.  I think the idea of acting like a bit brother might appeal to him.

Quote from: Zyngaru on September 26, 2024, 02:58:43 pm
Saturday, boys only or coed?  Skinny dipping or suits?  Just being curious. 

If it's just the boys I'm expecting, it'll be suits optional.
Posted by: Zyngaru
« on: September 26, 2024, 02:58:43 pm »

Thanks for the update.  So, Nick is officially living at Jack Manor.

At his age I wouldn't expect a spanking in his future unless, he might do something on purpose just to see if you would still give his bottom a warming and convince to himself that he is really a part of your family and not just a squatter or guest.  The things that come into a boy's mind are strange to adults sometimes, but they tend to want to ensure their security and boundaries are there.

Saturday, boys only or coed?  Skinny dipping or suits?  Just being curious. 
Posted by: Jack
« on: September 26, 2024, 12:26:33 pm »

I should update this while it's on my mind, and this will probably be the final report, unless something major happens.

Monday night, Nick's dad got Nick's mom out of the house, and we packed up all his stuff.  Tuesday morning, we finished unpacking and went through all this clothes.  Then we went shopping to get him his uniforms and a few other things he needed.  When we got home, we tried everything on, laundered it, and finished getting him settled.

I did talk to him about corporal punishment a bit.  He's really not too worried about it.  As far as he can remember, his last whipping was 15 or 16 months ago, for messing around on the tractor and causing a minor accident (and he admits he'd been warned already).  He's not sure when the one before that was, but he's pretty sure it was for not putting tools away properly and safely.  He knows I'm stricter on some things than his parents, but easier on others, and he also knows I tend to talk first. 

Tuesday afteroon, after lunch, we got him in at the doctor's office for a full check up.  At least his mom's not an anti-vaxxer, so he was mostly caught up on those - just needed the new flu, Covid, we went ahead and got him a Meningitis B, and his (I can't remember what they call tetanus shots now) needed updating.  It was enough that he complained of feeling like a pin cushion, but at least he's not phobic about needles.

Yesterday we got him enrolled at BCA.  I left him there to do some testing.  We're planning on him not being able to start college until 2026, but he's smart, so he might make it by next year.  A lot of it just depends on how wide the holes in his knowledge turn out to be.  Glen and Kline brought him home yesterday.  He doesn't have a car, but Van doesn't take his to college with him, and he said it's okay to let Nick use it for now, so we'll go with that.  Connor and Duncan both have learning permits, so I may go ahead and get a car for Connor and let Nick use it for now, so Van will have his when he comes home, but that's not something I have to decide now.

I think that's about it.  I'm letting Nick invite some friends over Saturday, and we're going to grill.  It's still pool weather in Texas, and the forecast calls for hot and sunny.  Most of his friends are already part of the kids who hang around here, either related to me, or families to whom we're close (like Brandon Malone and Chas Tidwell), so it'll just be a nice gathering, but it'll help people realize he's here.
Posted by: Jack
« on: September 23, 2024, 06:05:05 pm »

One thing I should have mentioned before is that Nick and his older sister both had the chance to go to BCA, but didn't take it.  Joe (Nick's older brother, who is the eldest of the three) did attend BCA, but largely that was because he wanted to play football as much as anything.  Nick isn't as athletic or outgoing as Joe (and he also didn't have the built in friend group of football players).  I think his mom used his nervousness about not knowing anyone to convince him not to go. 

Nick came over this morning to tell me that he's decided to accept my offer.  I went with him to the college so he could withdraw, then we went over to BCA and enrolled him, then went to my lawyer's office to sign a simple form, then went home to pack him up.  The form he signed simply states that, despite him being a legal adult, in return for my covering his expenses and providing additional care and support, he agrees to follow my home rules and to be treated like he was my minor child, including corporal punishment if/when I think it's called for, and it includes an explanation of how either of us needs to end the agreement.  I'm not sure it's legally notarized, but I've used the same basic thing with other young adults in similar situations, and it just feels better to be sure expectations are clear on all sides.

Right now, he's upstairs settling into his new room with some guests.  Marcus' kids still go to BCA, and Glenn is a junior and Kline is a senior, so they'll be around Nick and know a lot of the kids he'll be around, even if they're not in any of the same classes.  PJ's youngest adopted son is also a junior, and is bringing my kids home after school each day, and he's visiting Nick as well, so I think he' settling in.

We decided he's going to start school on Wednesday, because I want to go over all the paperwork and stuff with him, and because he needs uniforms.
Posted by: afinch
« on: September 21, 2024, 06:18:00 am »

Always happy to see posts here, and always read them.  Lucky Nick to have such an offer, and luckier one if he takes advantage of your life changing offer, and not because of the sore butt part.
Posted by: Jack
« on: September 20, 2024, 05:17:39 pm »

Quote from: David M. Katz on September 20, 2024, 11:44:45 am
Just when you almost had everyone kicked out of the nest . . . .

Yeah, but this house is WAY too big for just four of us.  I'm actually happy to have more people here (that don't require a lot of intensive care).  When Mikell retires in a couple of years, Duncan will just be starting his senior year, so they'll probably live here for a while.  In about five years, when Curtis graduates, I'm thinking of passing this on to one (or more) of the kids and getting an apartment or condo again.

Quote from: Zyngaru on September 20, 2024, 01:52:22 pm
With Nick, he seems to totally understand that his backside would be on the line if he chooses to move in with you.  He obviously knows that education is a big deal with you.  So, I can see him coming into the nest.

He doesn't really need my help with the schooling, but with having a stable base that's not putting pressure on him (in the wrong ways) and help with the financing. 

As for his backside - Joe is a good, smart kid (though he can be slightly goofy), and I know his dad took him to the barn a number of times over during his teens.  I also spanked him a reasonable amount between the time he was 11 or 12.... Maybe 15 or 16?  The thing is, he was very good friends with Kenny and the older Tidwell boys (especially Chas), so he was over here a lot, and as in trouble as you'd expect from energetic young teen boys.
Posted by: Zyngaru
« on: September 20, 2024, 01:52:22 pm »

I have a nephew that had to deal with that "unschooling" approach to home schooling.  During covid the boy's mom, decided to take him out of school and let her live-in boyfriend home school him.  Lyron just turned 10.  Not a whole lot of education happened.  After covid Lyron's grandma, his mom's mom, along with my nephew, Lyron's dad, finally got him back in school with the threat that now covid is over the school systems are going to come looking for missing kids.  The ploy worked and Lyron is back in school and doing well.  It did take a lot of catching up, but Lyron is a smart kid and can learn on his own.

I think a lot of people used the "Unschooling" approach to education.  Real homeschooling is work and not many parents want to put that much of their own time into their child's education, so they in essence unschool.

With Nick, he seems to totally understand that his backside would be on the line if he chooses to move in with you.  He obviously knows that education is a big deal with you.  So, I can see him coming into the nest.

Posted by: David M. Katz
« on: September 20, 2024, 11:44:45 am »

The updates are always appreciated.

Just when you almost had everyone kicked out of the nest . . . .
Posted by: Jack
« on: September 20, 2024, 11:28:31 am »

I'm never sure how many people still read these, and I update them so rarely I'm not sure it's even worth it anymore.  However, this is a fairly significant change, so I decided to go ahead.

I spent most of the morning talking with Nick, and it looks like he's going to be moving in with us.

Nick is 18 now.  He 'graduated' last year, but (as I've pointed out before), his mom used 'unschooling' to home school him. That worked for Nick's older siblings, because Joe is happy to be a contractor, and has been getting licenses and is basically a supervisor for his dad's company, allowing them to expand.  The sister is working at a boarding stable, where she handles a lot of the animal's day to day care, and is training young horses and riders.  Nick wants to go to college.

He did enroll for the fall semester, and while his English and writing skills are up to par, his math skills are lacking and he doesn't have a firm basis in science.  What's worse are that his study skills are a bit... unstable?  I think he could deal with that, but it's taking a lot of his time, and he's not happy with his mom and her whole approach to education, and it's making things a bit rough, since he has to bottle it in, so he's almost never in a good mood anymore. 

He's going to think about this for the weekend, but I've offered him the same deal I've offered other over 18s who needed him getting things stable.  He can live here like he was still a kid, we can enroll him at BCA where they can help him figure out exactly what he needs and help him get it, and then he should be able to enroll next fall as a Freshman.  Of course, the downsides are, he'll be relying on me, and he'll have to follow the rules and consequences here and at BCA.  Not that he's a problem kid.  I think getting him off the pressure cooker will take care of 90% of the problems he's been having lately, and he said this morning that it won't be the first time he's had to deal with a sore butt, and it might even do him some good (I offered to check, but he turned me down).

Anyway, that's about it for now.
Posted by: Jack
« on: January 12, 2020, 08:33:22 am »

Thought I'd do an update here.

With my kids back in school, Nick has returned home.  As you might guess, he didn't get into any trouble in the time he was here (since nothing was mentioned in the Spanking Report). 

I think a lot of what's going on is Nick is just lonely at home.  They have a nice place, but it's a bit isolated.  He and his little sister don't seem to have much in common, and I think he was much closer to the two older siblings who aren't around as much anymore.  Being around my boys and having a chance to do a little of the old rough and tumble seemed to really help him relax.  Of course, the truth is he was an early and fast grower, and he's an awful klutz right now, which is something to which both the Tidwell boys and Noah and Barry can relate, so I wonder if he got some support and understanding he needed here from people who'd gone through the same problems. 

I've talked to his dad a bit.  There are things I can't rearrange because of work right now, but I have a pretty firm commitment from him that I'll have Nick two afternoons a week this next semester.  One of those will be Monday, mostly for Scouts, but I'll also have him Thursday, which he and I can use for a bit of directed tutoring, so he can get help with anything that's puzzling him and a bit of direction in things that might interest him or he might need to know.