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RegisterPosted by: db105
« on: February 24, 2025, 09:43:44 am »I got it now. No, not Kix - I meant ZEKE.
Ah, I understand now.
Ah, I understand now.
Posted by: Jack
« on: February 24, 2025, 08:53:41 am »I understand why some communities want/desire to be closed to protect their youth from outside brainwashing and manipulation, but at the same time being a closed community creates the very thing you might want to protect your youth from.
My opinion is that if you want to homeschool for religious reasons, it means that your faith is weak. When you want to isolate your children, what you are really saying is that your beliefs are so inherently flawed that they can't stand up to someone disagreeing with or even just questioning them.
Posted by: Zyngaru
« on: February 24, 2025, 08:07:13 am »I understand why some communities want/desire to be closed to protect their youth from outside brainwashing and manipulation, but at the same time being a closed community creates the very thing you might want to protect your youth from.
My personal belief is to have a very open community where all ideas and viewpoints can be seen/taught and discussed. In doing that though, a parent/guardian/caregiver needs to be close/open/honest with the youth in their care, so they don't run off with every hair-brain idea of society but can build a firm foundation around the traditional ideas so as the child grows-up they can make more and more decisions on how things apply to them and if they wish to vary their outlook on social ideas and practices.
Totally closed off societies tend to create boys like Zeke, which in my opinion is a travesty. My heart will always hurt when I read about what he had to climb up out of to become the young man that he is today.
My personal belief is to have a very open community where all ideas and viewpoints can be seen/taught and discussed. In doing that though, a parent/guardian/caregiver needs to be close/open/honest with the youth in their care, so they don't run off with every hair-brain idea of society but can build a firm foundation around the traditional ideas so as the child grows-up they can make more and more decisions on how things apply to them and if they wish to vary their outlook on social ideas and practices.
Totally closed off societies tend to create boys like Zeke, which in my opinion is a travesty. My heart will always hurt when I read about what he had to climb up out of to become the young man that he is today.
Posted by: Jack
« on: February 24, 2025, 01:12:53 am »You mentioned that:
“As a reminder, Kix was expected to be a juvenile male, and just turning 18 didn't change that. He was never expected to have sex, so he'd been taught nothing about it.”
Who expected that? His parents?
I'm also curious about that. Why would his parents expect such a thing?
I got it now. No, not Kix - I meant ZEKE. The leaders of the cult he was raised in didn't want any competition, so most of the boys were taught they had to have sex to be adults, and weren't allowed to have sex until they were adults.
Posted by: db105
« on: February 23, 2025, 07:39:54 pm »Thanks for the update. I remember reading years ago the information of how Zeke became part of your family. I always found that story very touching, how you guys would help an adult, or almost adult, boy who had had such a difficult upbringing.
I'm also curious about that. Why would his parents expect such a thing?
You mentioned that:
“As a reminder, Kix was expected to be a juvenile male, and just turning 18 didn't change that. He was never expected to have sex, so he'd been taught nothing about it.”
Who expected that? His parents?
I'm also curious about that. Why would his parents expect such a thing?
Posted by: Zyngaru
« on: February 23, 2025, 05:12:51 pm »Thanks, Jack, for the updates on Zeke.
It was a little confusing for me, since so many posts were labeled as TODAY.
But I think I have them figured out. It was still good to read back when Zeke first came to live with you, and he had to grow from the background he was raised under.
Of course, you know I am going to take a special interest in any boy with a "Z" name.
It was a little confusing for me, since so many posts were labeled as TODAY.
But I think I have them figured out. It was still good to read back when Zeke first came to live with you, and he had to grow from the background he was raised under.
Of course, you know I am going to take a special interest in any boy with a "Z" name.
Posted by: Jack
« on: February 23, 2025, 01:16:42 pm »This next post comes from 19 April 2015 - STILL before Zeke turned 18, so you can probably understand how overwhelmed he and I both were at this point, and it impresses me again with how well he's doing today.
The St. Cyrs are the new family we met this week. I contacted them through the Home Schooling Organization I work with. I let a couple of people with that group know my situation with Zeke, and they found a family (they live outside Bransom, but still pretty local) where the father home schools, who have adopted children, including a teen, and who don't just sit home all the time.
Zeke and I met the family last Thursday, and we hit it off enough that we invited them over Saturday, so they could get the full effect.
We hit it off fine, and I talked a lot with the parents, especially Mr. St.C.
The reason he's the home schooler (home teacher?) is that he's able to do some of his work from home, while his wife is a doctor. Things were a bit rocky, with her having children, but now she has her own practice.
The parents are Louis (Lewis?) and Tamara. He's Creole, she's Persian. Judging by the kids, it's a really nice mix, though they'd really pass as Hispanic, which makes sense, since creole is nearly the same thing, just French instead of Spanish).
They have 5 children - 3 of them are biological, 2 are adopted. They both want more than one child, but it took several years for her to get pregnant, and when a few more had passed with no more luck and they saw something about foreign orphans, they decided to adopt. While they were in the process of adopting, she got pregnant again (of course). They thought three was enough, but then the baby came along, and they needed to take in their nephew (I believe by his sister, but I'm not positive). After keeping him over a year, they wanted to stabilize things for everyone, so they got his parents to agree and adopted.
The Kids:
Nick - Nick (Nicolai?) is 16 and was the first adopted son. He's from the Ukraine, but started out speaking Russian (yes, Mickey loved meeting him, and he and Johnny spent a while talking).
Micah - the oldest biological son. Micah is 12, pretty obviously is in the early stages of puberty, and is absolutely beautiful. He seems fairly smart, and is a huge baseball and soccer fan.
Dominic - Dom is 10. I think Dom is mulatto. That's not any direct information that I have, but that he has an unusual skintone that I've seen from people who I knew were. He also has really tight, curly hair, that's a weird, light brown color. He carries just a bit of extra weight, like he's getting ready to grow. He's a very nice kid, and he loves the same stuff my kids do - Hot Wheels are his favorites right now, but he's also big into Legos.
Dashiell - Dash is 8. I'm not going to say he's hyper, but he is very active. He immediately made friends with every boy and animal who were present yesterday. Cute as the dickens and a real charmer. (EDIT: Remember - this was nearly a decade ago. Dash is a senior and Lee is a sophomore, and both of them still visit on a regular basis).
Lee is only six, and he's the shy one. He was trying to hide behind his mom, until he was introduced to Spin and Marty, which drew him out a bit. By the time they left, he and Adam were lifelong friends. He's the cutest of the group.
The reason we're getting to know each other is that Louis takes the boys either to the gym or to do something physical at least a couple of times a week, and they try to do field trips each week. After explaining what's going on with Zeke, and after we got to know each other, he agreed to take Zeke along for the physical activities and field trips. That way, Zeke will get to spend time with other people, and do some things, which will hopefully seem like I'm not acting as a jail keeper.
We did talk about how he home schools, and I like his ideas. He requires the boys to do a certain amount of work in each class each week, but he requires more work than he gives assignments. Therefore, the boys can spend some of the rest of their time chasing their own interests or reading about new stuff. It actually answers one of the problems I have with public school, and it resolves a lot of the troubles I have with 'unschooling'.
We also talked about discipline, and he is a spanker. We'd brushed by the subject once or twice, when Dash brought the Little Deer to show him. After that, we had a fairly frank discussion. He wasn't asking for permission to discipline Zeke - he hasn't actually whipped Nick in 'a while' - and he made it clear that he tries to give the boys privacy when he does spank (except Dash and Lee, who share a room and get in trouble together on a regular basis). I think he started out trying to make sure Zeke and I weren't going to be offended if someone did get spanked while Zeke was with him. When he found out the Little Deer (and others) hung in the younger boys room, he laughed about it.
What I did find out are that he almost always spanks pants down, but bare is reserved for serious transgressions and repeated or multiple problems, and that he's not quit as formal as I am. Then we talked about our near/recent teens, and the discussion went off in other areas.
I think it will work well for Zeke.
It seems like it might.
They dropped by after church for a while yesterday (called to ask if we had lunch plans, and brought enough fried chicken to feed us all). Micah and Van seem to have really hit it off, and now Micah is considering getting involved in 4H. Nick and Mickey enjoyed talking to each other and practicing their Russian, and Johnny joined them for a while. The younger boys are typical boys, and they managed to find things in common.
Zeke is still a bit withdrawn around adults, but he gets along okay with the kids, and he spent some time talking with me and Mr. SC about how he'll be expected to behave, and he and Nick spent some time talking. I think Zeke will be okay with them. They're doing a nature hike today, and Zeke will be going with them, so we'll see.
Zeke is now 18.
His birthday was fairly quiet. They didn't celebrate birthdays in his 'sect', and (from what I understand) he wasn't even positive when his birthday was, when he was first picked up.
I decided not to go too fancy. We had appetizer sampler trays (jalapeno poppers, stuffed mushrooms, fried cheese, potato skins, and grilled shrimp), t-bones, roast potato wedges, and a garden salad. We had ice cream cake for dessert.
Zeke was pretty overwhelmed to realize that all the attention was on him, but he seems to be getting better at accepting things without feeling guilty or worried. I'm not sure how much change he's been able to internalize, but I think he's realizing that his environment is much different and safer.
Zeke and I have to go to court today.
First, they are pursuing an investigation of this 'farm' where he was raised. At the very least, they were obviously lying on their home school paperwork. I think they want him to review his statements and attest that they're 'the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.'
Second, it's possible that the court could have declared Zeke incompetent and remanded him to the care of CPS, though he passed 18. The law is set up to make things like that difficult (and it should be), but it was one possible way to keep from just throwing him on the street. My lawyer will meet us there. He already has paperwork drawn up (the same basic thing I used with Steven, Clayton, and Christian) that Zeke and I will sign - basically Zeke will attest himself as being of limited competence and not being ready or able to support himself, and so he'll grant full parental powers to me, as though he were still a minor, and I'll be accepting full parental responsibility - including guarantees to provide support, education, and discipline.
It's not totally, legally valid. Zeke will still be an adult under the law, which means I wouldn't be responsible for him getting a ticket, like I would be with Bryce or the twins, but it does provide us with protection and assurance.
Court really didn't consist of much. The judge talked to Zeke a bit, and he did ask me a couple of questions and review the agreement. Zeke and I both signed it, and the judge witnessed it himself.
The main reason we went in was so that Zeke could make a deposition that was basically him taking oath, re-reading his statement, and swearing it was all true. The farm where he was raised is going to be investigated on a couple of issues, and they wanted Zeke's sworn statement to be sure they had probable cause (from what I understand).
It's a pretty nice day today, so Zeke and I went to Sonic Drive-In for lunch, then drove around the lake for a bit.
I've been trying to find material for a young adult who has no education, and it's really not there. There's material to teach someone to read, but not for the kind of things Zeke has missed out on. Instead, I just got some used material for early grades, and he's looking through it. I'm honestly thinking of just starting him at his reading level or just below, and seeing how interested he is, and what kind of pace he will keep with it. We picked up some sixth grade social studies and science material today, and we'll start working on that and see how it goes.
I've had a few questions about how Zeke is doing, so I thought I'd take a few minutes to update.
First of all, we're still trying to make long-term decisions on his education. Right now, we're not able to do a lot. That's mostly because it's so close to the end of the year. On the other hand, Mr. P., from BCA, suggested that we could work up an IEP (Individualized Education Program). Those are really for special needs students, but this kind of is a special needs, special circumstance. Once we have that worked up, we might be able to get him into an online school. So far he's interested, and he's used to discipline, so he might be able to handle something like that, without me having to constantly supervise him.
There are a couple of other ideas were considering as well.
For now, we're hitting the library quit a bit, and he's reading a lot of science and social studies/history books that are really aimed at younger kids. The reads are too easy for him, but it's giving him some fundamentals he needs, and it's helping him figure out where his interests are. He's going through the same phase that many boys do - dinosaurs and astronomy. That's something all my boys can talk about, and we have plenty of books on both subjects.
He's also reading some novels. I think his reading level was really better than they originally thought - he just needed to get some practice and exposure to a vocabulary that wasn't King James.
It turns out John had a sex talk with Zeke. As far as I've found out, Zeke never masturbated. After having a wet dream and being worried about how I'd react, he and I had the first in a series of talks. I would normally have had that talk with... Well, I've already had it with Kenny, except I added more information on self-pleasuring.
John's talk was a bit more... detailed.
I try to give the boys privacy. I'm even trying to be more careful about walking in, even if the boys are supposed to be asleep or not home. Also, John and I haven't had talks like Noah and I have.
Well, at the very least, John either watches or helps some of his friends. This came up because he pretty much told Zeke that a couple of his friends were coming over, and they were going to be having a circle jerk. Zeke could join or give them privacy.
He gave them privacy.
I found out about this, because John told me. He was pretty much laughing about it. On the other hand, he also told me that Zeke asked a couple of 'how to' questions, and John got him a rag to clean up with.
Zeke got his first swat. He does NOT like the idea of corner time.
It actually wasn't over anything huge. I was trying to get him up and moving yesterday, but he protesting and foot dragging. I actually like it, because he was... asserting himself for once. On the other hand, I gave him pretty direct instructions, and he didn't follow them.
Because he's so against corner time, I put a Jokari paddle in his room. When I went back to his room, and he still wasn't ready, I offered him corner time again, but he said 'no', so I had him put his hands on his knees, and I gave him a pretty good smack. He took it well, but I did see him sneaking a rub.
That was all it took, so he must have been just testing. And like I said, I'm basically happy to see it.
I'm going to let that be it for now. I think it gives a good idea of what things were like when Zeke became part of the family and how hectic things were for him at first.
The St. Cyrs are the new family we met this week. I contacted them through the Home Schooling Organization I work with. I let a couple of people with that group know my situation with Zeke, and they found a family (they live outside Bransom, but still pretty local) where the father home schools, who have adopted children, including a teen, and who don't just sit home all the time.
Zeke and I met the family last Thursday, and we hit it off enough that we invited them over Saturday, so they could get the full effect.
We hit it off fine, and I talked a lot with the parents, especially Mr. St.C.
The reason he's the home schooler (home teacher?) is that he's able to do some of his work from home, while his wife is a doctor. Things were a bit rocky, with her having children, but now she has her own practice.
The parents are Louis (Lewis?) and Tamara. He's Creole, she's Persian. Judging by the kids, it's a really nice mix, though they'd really pass as Hispanic, which makes sense, since creole is nearly the same thing, just French instead of Spanish).
They have 5 children - 3 of them are biological, 2 are adopted. They both want more than one child, but it took several years for her to get pregnant, and when a few more had passed with no more luck and they saw something about foreign orphans, they decided to adopt. While they were in the process of adopting, she got pregnant again (of course). They thought three was enough, but then the baby came along, and they needed to take in their nephew (I believe by his sister, but I'm not positive). After keeping him over a year, they wanted to stabilize things for everyone, so they got his parents to agree and adopted.
The Kids:
Nick - Nick (Nicolai?) is 16 and was the first adopted son. He's from the Ukraine, but started out speaking Russian (yes, Mickey loved meeting him, and he and Johnny spent a while talking).
Micah - the oldest biological son. Micah is 12, pretty obviously is in the early stages of puberty, and is absolutely beautiful. He seems fairly smart, and is a huge baseball and soccer fan.
Dominic - Dom is 10. I think Dom is mulatto. That's not any direct information that I have, but that he has an unusual skintone that I've seen from people who I knew were. He also has really tight, curly hair, that's a weird, light brown color. He carries just a bit of extra weight, like he's getting ready to grow. He's a very nice kid, and he loves the same stuff my kids do - Hot Wheels are his favorites right now, but he's also big into Legos.
Dashiell - Dash is 8. I'm not going to say he's hyper, but he is very active. He immediately made friends with every boy and animal who were present yesterday. Cute as the dickens and a real charmer. (EDIT: Remember - this was nearly a decade ago. Dash is a senior and Lee is a sophomore, and both of them still visit on a regular basis).
Lee is only six, and he's the shy one. He was trying to hide behind his mom, until he was introduced to Spin and Marty, which drew him out a bit. By the time they left, he and Adam were lifelong friends. He's the cutest of the group.
The reason we're getting to know each other is that Louis takes the boys either to the gym or to do something physical at least a couple of times a week, and they try to do field trips each week. After explaining what's going on with Zeke, and after we got to know each other, he agreed to take Zeke along for the physical activities and field trips. That way, Zeke will get to spend time with other people, and do some things, which will hopefully seem like I'm not acting as a jail keeper.
We did talk about how he home schools, and I like his ideas. He requires the boys to do a certain amount of work in each class each week, but he requires more work than he gives assignments. Therefore, the boys can spend some of the rest of their time chasing their own interests or reading about new stuff. It actually answers one of the problems I have with public school, and it resolves a lot of the troubles I have with 'unschooling'.
We also talked about discipline, and he is a spanker. We'd brushed by the subject once or twice, when Dash brought the Little Deer to show him. After that, we had a fairly frank discussion. He wasn't asking for permission to discipline Zeke - he hasn't actually whipped Nick in 'a while' - and he made it clear that he tries to give the boys privacy when he does spank (except Dash and Lee, who share a room and get in trouble together on a regular basis). I think he started out trying to make sure Zeke and I weren't going to be offended if someone did get spanked while Zeke was with him. When he found out the Little Deer (and others) hung in the younger boys room, he laughed about it.
What I did find out are that he almost always spanks pants down, but bare is reserved for serious transgressions and repeated or multiple problems, and that he's not quit as formal as I am. Then we talked about our near/recent teens, and the discussion went off in other areas.
I think it will work well for Zeke.
It seems like it might.
They dropped by after church for a while yesterday (called to ask if we had lunch plans, and brought enough fried chicken to feed us all). Micah and Van seem to have really hit it off, and now Micah is considering getting involved in 4H. Nick and Mickey enjoyed talking to each other and practicing their Russian, and Johnny joined them for a while. The younger boys are typical boys, and they managed to find things in common.
Zeke is still a bit withdrawn around adults, but he gets along okay with the kids, and he spent some time talking with me and Mr. SC about how he'll be expected to behave, and he and Nick spent some time talking. I think Zeke will be okay with them. They're doing a nature hike today, and Zeke will be going with them, so we'll see.
Zeke is now 18.
His birthday was fairly quiet. They didn't celebrate birthdays in his 'sect', and (from what I understand) he wasn't even positive when his birthday was, when he was first picked up.
I decided not to go too fancy. We had appetizer sampler trays (jalapeno poppers, stuffed mushrooms, fried cheese, potato skins, and grilled shrimp), t-bones, roast potato wedges, and a garden salad. We had ice cream cake for dessert.
Zeke was pretty overwhelmed to realize that all the attention was on him, but he seems to be getting better at accepting things without feeling guilty or worried. I'm not sure how much change he's been able to internalize, but I think he's realizing that his environment is much different and safer.
Zeke and I have to go to court today.
First, they are pursuing an investigation of this 'farm' where he was raised. At the very least, they were obviously lying on their home school paperwork. I think they want him to review his statements and attest that they're 'the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.'
Second, it's possible that the court could have declared Zeke incompetent and remanded him to the care of CPS, though he passed 18. The law is set up to make things like that difficult (and it should be), but it was one possible way to keep from just throwing him on the street. My lawyer will meet us there. He already has paperwork drawn up (the same basic thing I used with Steven, Clayton, and Christian) that Zeke and I will sign - basically Zeke will attest himself as being of limited competence and not being ready or able to support himself, and so he'll grant full parental powers to me, as though he were still a minor, and I'll be accepting full parental responsibility - including guarantees to provide support, education, and discipline.
It's not totally, legally valid. Zeke will still be an adult under the law, which means I wouldn't be responsible for him getting a ticket, like I would be with Bryce or the twins, but it does provide us with protection and assurance.
Court really didn't consist of much. The judge talked to Zeke a bit, and he did ask me a couple of questions and review the agreement. Zeke and I both signed it, and the judge witnessed it himself.
The main reason we went in was so that Zeke could make a deposition that was basically him taking oath, re-reading his statement, and swearing it was all true. The farm where he was raised is going to be investigated on a couple of issues, and they wanted Zeke's sworn statement to be sure they had probable cause (from what I understand).
It's a pretty nice day today, so Zeke and I went to Sonic Drive-In for lunch, then drove around the lake for a bit.
I've been trying to find material for a young adult who has no education, and it's really not there. There's material to teach someone to read, but not for the kind of things Zeke has missed out on. Instead, I just got some used material for early grades, and he's looking through it. I'm honestly thinking of just starting him at his reading level or just below, and seeing how interested he is, and what kind of pace he will keep with it. We picked up some sixth grade social studies and science material today, and we'll start working on that and see how it goes.
I've had a few questions about how Zeke is doing, so I thought I'd take a few minutes to update.
First of all, we're still trying to make long-term decisions on his education. Right now, we're not able to do a lot. That's mostly because it's so close to the end of the year. On the other hand, Mr. P., from BCA, suggested that we could work up an IEP (Individualized Education Program). Those are really for special needs students, but this kind of is a special needs, special circumstance. Once we have that worked up, we might be able to get him into an online school. So far he's interested, and he's used to discipline, so he might be able to handle something like that, without me having to constantly supervise him.
There are a couple of other ideas were considering as well.
For now, we're hitting the library quit a bit, and he's reading a lot of science and social studies/history books that are really aimed at younger kids. The reads are too easy for him, but it's giving him some fundamentals he needs, and it's helping him figure out where his interests are. He's going through the same phase that many boys do - dinosaurs and astronomy. That's something all my boys can talk about, and we have plenty of books on both subjects.
He's also reading some novels. I think his reading level was really better than they originally thought - he just needed to get some practice and exposure to a vocabulary that wasn't King James.
It turns out John had a sex talk with Zeke. As far as I've found out, Zeke never masturbated. After having a wet dream and being worried about how I'd react, he and I had the first in a series of talks. I would normally have had that talk with... Well, I've already had it with Kenny, except I added more information on self-pleasuring.
John's talk was a bit more... detailed.
I try to give the boys privacy. I'm even trying to be more careful about walking in, even if the boys are supposed to be asleep or not home. Also, John and I haven't had talks like Noah and I have.
Well, at the very least, John either watches or helps some of his friends. This came up because he pretty much told Zeke that a couple of his friends were coming over, and they were going to be having a circle jerk. Zeke could join or give them privacy.
He gave them privacy.
I found out about this, because John told me. He was pretty much laughing about it. On the other hand, he also told me that Zeke asked a couple of 'how to' questions, and John got him a rag to clean up with.
Zeke got his first swat. He does NOT like the idea of corner time.
It actually wasn't over anything huge. I was trying to get him up and moving yesterday, but he protesting and foot dragging. I actually like it, because he was... asserting himself for once. On the other hand, I gave him pretty direct instructions, and he didn't follow them.
Because he's so against corner time, I put a Jokari paddle in his room. When I went back to his room, and he still wasn't ready, I offered him corner time again, but he said 'no', so I had him put his hands on his knees, and I gave him a pretty good smack. He took it well, but I did see him sneaking a rub.
That was all it took, so he must have been just testing. And like I said, I'm basically happy to see it.
I'm going to let that be it for now. I think it gives a good idea of what things were like when Zeke became part of the family and how hectic things were for him at first.
Posted by: Jack
« on: February 23, 2025, 12:57:48 pm »This morning, we decided to stay home, have brunch, and a devotional. That's probably closer to what he's used to, and we're not serious churchgoers anyway.
>>>>Zeke is back at the facility tonight. They're going to release him to me 'temporarily', while they figure out which version of what happened is real and set a hearing. Realistically, with a birthday on 22 April, he's mine. I'll pick him up tomorrow, early afternoon to bring him home.
And that, more or less, is the story of how Zeke became part of our family.
Tne thing to look into, is if this kid has a birth certificate and a social security number. Too often those in that particular "religion" will not register their births with the state.
I had already thought of that, because of that Jessica girl in the news a few months back. However, the state was able to identify him, and he wasn't sure of his own birthday, so they have some kind of identification on him. My understanding is that, when he was very young, he was taken to a hospital for something, and things must have been taken care of them.
I am going to ask a few follow up questions when I pick him up, and we'll see where they are with getting what he needs, and what I need to do.
I did sit down and make a few phone calls and a plans last night.
I'm going to get with the home schooling group and find some high school age boys that he can spend a little time with and maybe take a few field trips with, while the rest of my kids are in school.
I don't know if I'm going to bother with a tutor right now, or if I'll just buy him starter books. He reads okay, and the stuff he needs right now is early grade level. I'll probably just get him a tutor a couple of days a week to start.
We're going to see Dr. Sammy tomorrow morning, and I need to schedule trips to the dentist and eye doctor as well.
He and John did just fine together. Because the college kids stay there when they're home, the sleeping areas are already separated for some privacy (room dividers between the beds). That should do okay for a while.
We need to fill out his wardrobe, but I'm not sure if I'm going to take him shopping. I'm probably going to get him a basic phone for now, but I don't think I'll bother with anything else. Maybe we'll go to Toys R Us and see if we can find some kind of non-tech toy that will interest an 18-year old.
I'm was planning to start a bio for him, but I'm yawning too much right now. I'll probably do that this afternoon, if I have time, then link back to this and do future updates there.
Doctor's visits are scheduled. We're seeing Dr. Sammy today. I have to go into the stores for a while. Looks like a fun day.
We did find almost everything Zeke needed in the handmedown closet, and we moved a few things in John's room (we had to rearrange a few of the college boys' things) to get him his own private spots.
He's pretty needy and insecure right now, but I think he's doing better than John did his first few days with us, so I guess everything is okay for now.
I should have a bit more free time this afternoon, and I'll try to get the new thread started and organized then.
This next was posted on 14 April 15 and was apparently the start of Zeke's bio page on the old forum.
I started a thread, when I was first asked if I could take Zeke into my home. You can find a lot of the early details in What Would You Do?. The title comes from me throwing another fit about how I already have too much to do and too many kids to care for.
Let's start with the basics
5'7.5" (171.5 cm)
124 pounds (56.25 k)
medium brown hair
blue eyes
fair complexion
While he doesn't look much like us in the face, Zeke has the right coloring to fit right in with me, Barry, and Noah.
We saw the doctor today, and the poor kid had to get a TON of shots; ten, I think, and that's only because he already got a TDAP, when the police first picked him up. It did include an antibiotic, because he has some dental problems, and he has an infection in his gums. Sammy called the dentist, and added the antibiotic, to get him started before we get there tomorrow.
You probably remember that some of those vaccines are thick, and they hurt going in. He's also not especially broad right now, so he ended up getting shots in both arms, both thighs, and his rear.
He's upstairs right now, sleeping it off.
The saddest thing is, some of them require follow ups next month.
Like all my new boys, Zeke got a thorough physical. I'm sure he was very embarrassed by it, but he took it well. Basically Sammy does a visual examination of the boy's entire body. The purpose is to document any marks or scars; both so we know about them in case their trouble (moles) and I can't be blamed for any old marks. In Zeke's case, with him being nearly an adult, and with his bios probably being scared to push themselves further into the laws' attention, it was probably unnecessary, but 'better safe than sorry.'
Besides that, almost everything was just fine.
The problems he does have are related to diet. Sammy says he sees similar things in many poor families, because they tend to eat a lot more starch and fat protein. While he suggested some mineral oil tonight, and fiber bars for a week or two, once he's been eating with my family for a bit, and his body adjusts, he should be just fine.
Sammy did say he has some more growing to do. I'd already come to the same conclusion, but Sammy sees more cases and has more experience than I do, so I'm glad he agreed. Zeke looks like he's in late stage 3, early stage 4 of puberty, which means he probably has at least another inch and possibly as much as five more to grow. Without knowing his family, it's hard to be more accurate than that.
Kier said that, after all those shots, Zeke was probably going to feel fluish. He was certainly pretty ran down.
After a nap yesterday afternoon, he went to bed early last night. He got up with the other boys this morning, but ended up staying home while I went to work this morning. At first, he said he didn't feel much like eating last night, but Noah had made some beer batter onion rings, with some 10/15s, and I made steak on egg sandwiches, and we had some roast veggies and a salad, and he decided he could probably choke something down after all.
We're leaving for the dentist in a few minutes. He's upstairs cleaning his teeth before we go.
I talked with a home schooling father of 3 boys yesterday, and we're going to get together tomorrow afternoon. He tries to take his boys on at least one field trip of some type every week, plus a couple of days a week at the gym, and he has no problem including Zeke. We're going to see how the boys get along, and how he and I get along. His oldest boy is in high school, so I'm hoping this is something Zeke can do to get out of the house, meet some new people, and get exposure to some new things.
Things just keep getting worse for Zeke.
He did NOT want to go to the eye doctor yesterday. He'd already had bad experiences at the pediatrician and dentist (he has a number of cavities, and while the cleaning wasn't too horrible, the doctor had to check the cavities to prioritize, and I'm sure most of you have at least a bit of experience with how fun that was). I promised him that the worst that would happen at the optometrist was that they might dilate his eyes. He went, but it was under protest.
He did need glasses - he's slightly astigmatic. He doesn't have to have them for driving. He probably would have to have them in a traditional class room (reading the blackboard). In the situation he's in now, we got them so he can see if he really needs them to read and maybe for movies. And, if he doesn't use them and complains of headaches...
We did meet those home schoolers yesterday, and it was a nice group.
As I said, the father stays home and does the home schooling. Apparently he's able to do some work online, and his wife is a doctor and made more than he did anyway.
They have FIVE kids - all boys. Three are biological, two are adopted. I don't have the entire story straight, and I don't remember everyone's name, so I'm not going to try to do a full introduction here, but I will say that the eldest, who is one of the adopted boys, is Ukrainian and speaks Russian. Mickey is excited to meet him.
They're coming over again tomorrow afternoon to meet the entire family.
I started off by saying that things keep getting worse for Zeke.
He's been getting up and having breakfast with the family, then, when the other kids leave, he and I discuss what is scheduled for the day, and decide what he's going to do (he's used to almost constant supervision and direction, so I don't want to throw him in the wind, like I would do for any of the other, older boys).
This morning, he didn't get up. John said he was awake, so I went to see if he was feeling bad or something.
No, not feeling bad, but kind of obviously upset.
I should mention two things here.
Zeke sleeps with his hands outside the covers.
Zeke was one time caught 'just scratching', but his 'privates had grown', and he was taken to the barn and whipped like I described the last whipping he received before being turned out.
This morning, Zeke had a wet dream. Apparently this was previously a whipping offense, so he didn't know what was going to happen, and he was worried about being embarrassed in front of the other boys.
We covered his sheets until the other boys left for school, and he grabbed a quick shower before breakfast. Afterwards, we had a talk about a lot of things. It will probably take a while for him to overcome what he was taught, but we looked at the Bible, and discussed my beliefs again (I am giving less and less credence to Paul as the years go on, and treating what he said more as guidelines than anything else, while relying on the Gospels for most of my beliefs).
I didn't even try to have the sex talk with him. I think we'll save that for another week or two.
>>>>Zeke is back at the facility tonight. They're going to release him to me 'temporarily', while they figure out which version of what happened is real and set a hearing. Realistically, with a birthday on 22 April, he's mine. I'll pick him up tomorrow, early afternoon to bring him home.
And that, more or less, is the story of how Zeke became part of our family.
Tne thing to look into, is if this kid has a birth certificate and a social security number. Too often those in that particular "religion" will not register their births with the state.
I had already thought of that, because of that Jessica girl in the news a few months back. However, the state was able to identify him, and he wasn't sure of his own birthday, so they have some kind of identification on him. My understanding is that, when he was very young, he was taken to a hospital for something, and things must have been taken care of them.
I am going to ask a few follow up questions when I pick him up, and we'll see where they are with getting what he needs, and what I need to do.
I did sit down and make a few phone calls and a plans last night.
I'm going to get with the home schooling group and find some high school age boys that he can spend a little time with and maybe take a few field trips with, while the rest of my kids are in school.
I don't know if I'm going to bother with a tutor right now, or if I'll just buy him starter books. He reads okay, and the stuff he needs right now is early grade level. I'll probably just get him a tutor a couple of days a week to start.
We're going to see Dr. Sammy tomorrow morning, and I need to schedule trips to the dentist and eye doctor as well.
He and John did just fine together. Because the college kids stay there when they're home, the sleeping areas are already separated for some privacy (room dividers between the beds). That should do okay for a while.
We need to fill out his wardrobe, but I'm not sure if I'm going to take him shopping. I'm probably going to get him a basic phone for now, but I don't think I'll bother with anything else. Maybe we'll go to Toys R Us and see if we can find some kind of non-tech toy that will interest an 18-year old.
I'm was planning to start a bio for him, but I'm yawning too much right now. I'll probably do that this afternoon, if I have time, then link back to this and do future updates there.
Doctor's visits are scheduled. We're seeing Dr. Sammy today. I have to go into the stores for a while. Looks like a fun day.
We did find almost everything Zeke needed in the handmedown closet, and we moved a few things in John's room (we had to rearrange a few of the college boys' things) to get him his own private spots.
He's pretty needy and insecure right now, but I think he's doing better than John did his first few days with us, so I guess everything is okay for now.
I should have a bit more free time this afternoon, and I'll try to get the new thread started and organized then.
This next was posted on 14 April 15 and was apparently the start of Zeke's bio page on the old forum.
I started a thread, when I was first asked if I could take Zeke into my home. You can find a lot of the early details in What Would You Do?. The title comes from me throwing another fit about how I already have too much to do and too many kids to care for.
Let's start with the basics
5'7.5" (171.5 cm)
124 pounds (56.25 k)
medium brown hair
blue eyes
fair complexion
While he doesn't look much like us in the face, Zeke has the right coloring to fit right in with me, Barry, and Noah.
We saw the doctor today, and the poor kid had to get a TON of shots; ten, I think, and that's only because he already got a TDAP, when the police first picked him up. It did include an antibiotic, because he has some dental problems, and he has an infection in his gums. Sammy called the dentist, and added the antibiotic, to get him started before we get there tomorrow.
You probably remember that some of those vaccines are thick, and they hurt going in. He's also not especially broad right now, so he ended up getting shots in both arms, both thighs, and his rear.
He's upstairs right now, sleeping it off.
The saddest thing is, some of them require follow ups next month.
Like all my new boys, Zeke got a thorough physical. I'm sure he was very embarrassed by it, but he took it well. Basically Sammy does a visual examination of the boy's entire body. The purpose is to document any marks or scars; both so we know about them in case their trouble (moles) and I can't be blamed for any old marks. In Zeke's case, with him being nearly an adult, and with his bios probably being scared to push themselves further into the laws' attention, it was probably unnecessary, but 'better safe than sorry.'
Besides that, almost everything was just fine.
The problems he does have are related to diet. Sammy says he sees similar things in many poor families, because they tend to eat a lot more starch and fat protein. While he suggested some mineral oil tonight, and fiber bars for a week or two, once he's been eating with my family for a bit, and his body adjusts, he should be just fine.
Sammy did say he has some more growing to do. I'd already come to the same conclusion, but Sammy sees more cases and has more experience than I do, so I'm glad he agreed. Zeke looks like he's in late stage 3, early stage 4 of puberty, which means he probably has at least another inch and possibly as much as five more to grow. Without knowing his family, it's hard to be more accurate than that.
Kier said that, after all those shots, Zeke was probably going to feel fluish. He was certainly pretty ran down.
After a nap yesterday afternoon, he went to bed early last night. He got up with the other boys this morning, but ended up staying home while I went to work this morning. At first, he said he didn't feel much like eating last night, but Noah had made some beer batter onion rings, with some 10/15s, and I made steak on egg sandwiches, and we had some roast veggies and a salad, and he decided he could probably choke something down after all.
We're leaving for the dentist in a few minutes. He's upstairs cleaning his teeth before we go.
I talked with a home schooling father of 3 boys yesterday, and we're going to get together tomorrow afternoon. He tries to take his boys on at least one field trip of some type every week, plus a couple of days a week at the gym, and he has no problem including Zeke. We're going to see how the boys get along, and how he and I get along. His oldest boy is in high school, so I'm hoping this is something Zeke can do to get out of the house, meet some new people, and get exposure to some new things.
Things just keep getting worse for Zeke.
He did NOT want to go to the eye doctor yesterday. He'd already had bad experiences at the pediatrician and dentist (he has a number of cavities, and while the cleaning wasn't too horrible, the doctor had to check the cavities to prioritize, and I'm sure most of you have at least a bit of experience with how fun that was). I promised him that the worst that would happen at the optometrist was that they might dilate his eyes. He went, but it was under protest.
He did need glasses - he's slightly astigmatic. He doesn't have to have them for driving. He probably would have to have them in a traditional class room (reading the blackboard). In the situation he's in now, we got them so he can see if he really needs them to read and maybe for movies. And, if he doesn't use them and complains of headaches...
We did meet those home schoolers yesterday, and it was a nice group.
As I said, the father stays home and does the home schooling. Apparently he's able to do some work online, and his wife is a doctor and made more than he did anyway.
They have FIVE kids - all boys. Three are biological, two are adopted. I don't have the entire story straight, and I don't remember everyone's name, so I'm not going to try to do a full introduction here, but I will say that the eldest, who is one of the adopted boys, is Ukrainian and speaks Russian. Mickey is excited to meet him.
They're coming over again tomorrow afternoon to meet the entire family.
I started off by saying that things keep getting worse for Zeke.
He's been getting up and having breakfast with the family, then, when the other kids leave, he and I discuss what is scheduled for the day, and decide what he's going to do (he's used to almost constant supervision and direction, so I don't want to throw him in the wind, like I would do for any of the other, older boys).
This morning, he didn't get up. John said he was awake, so I went to see if he was feeling bad or something.
No, not feeling bad, but kind of obviously upset.
I should mention two things here.
Zeke sleeps with his hands outside the covers.
Zeke was one time caught 'just scratching', but his 'privates had grown', and he was taken to the barn and whipped like I described the last whipping he received before being turned out.
This morning, Zeke had a wet dream. Apparently this was previously a whipping offense, so he didn't know what was going to happen, and he was worried about being embarrassed in front of the other boys.
We covered his sheets until the other boys left for school, and he grabbed a quick shower before breakfast. Afterwards, we had a talk about a lot of things. It will probably take a while for him to overcome what he was taught, but we looked at the Bible, and discussed my beliefs again (I am giving less and less credence to Paul as the years go on, and treating what he said more as guidelines than anything else, while relying on the Gospels for most of my beliefs).
I didn't even try to have the sex talk with him. I think we'll save that for another week or two.
Posted by: Jack
« on: February 23, 2025, 12:37:15 pm »I believe this is the part which is really relevant to Leti's question.
Zeke seems to have three beliefs that will make him fitting in here pretty easy.
1) The father is the head of the household, and he seems to believe the converse is true (the head of the household is the father).
2) Boys need to be disciplined, and it should be physically.
3) He is still a boy.
From what Zeke told me, he was shocked at the idea that a certain birthday would make him legally an adult.
If you read Ephesians 5:31 - it says that a man shall leave his family and join his wife. Somehow, that has come to mean that, until you're married, you're a child. Zeke says there were two 'boys' older than him there.
And yes, Zeke has recently received physical punishment. He says he was whipped twice in March. I didn't try to get him to go into detail, but it sounds pretty similar to how Denny Archer used to get it - belt bare.
The first time, he and two other boys had snuck off, when they were supposed to be doing chores. An adult caught them and escorted them to their fathers.
The second time was his last evening there, and I'm going to have to cut off now, and talk about this later.
I never cared enough to figure out any of their so-called religious beliefs, except what I needed to understand to deal with Zeke. However, it sounds like it was set up similarly to some of the radical Mormon offshots, where the boys are free labor as long as they don't get too uppity, and the girls are basically used for procreative purposes (and free labor).
This is now coming from 11 April 2015, still before Zeke turned 18.
Okay, I need to get this out of the way, and it's best to do it while I have time to be by myself and calm down.
Zeke was caught with a book. He was chewed out for that, then taken to the barn, which seems to be where all his whippings had occurred since he was 'a little kid'. He'd known the book (basically any, non-religious book) was forbidden, and that he'd get into trouble if he was caught with it. He was stripped, had to lay down over something, and his but was whipped with a belt.
When he told me about the whipping he got for skipping out on his chores, I asked if he cried, and his response was 'not really.' He says he was starting to cry when this one was finished. When he was allowed up, two adults - one of them 'the Elder' - were there. While trying to cover himself with his hands, he was lectured again about wasting time reading 'non-sacred texts'. Then he was asked where he'd gotten it.
There was a boy, a bit younger than him, but bigger, who went into town when they purchased supplies, to help carry the larger stuff. He'd found the book, brought it back, read it, then passed it around. Zeke had no intention of saying who'd brought it, or who had given it to him.
When he refused, he was told to lay back down, and he was whipped again.
"I did cry that time."
The problem here is that, under Texas law, punishment becomes abuse when marks are left that last more than a day. Cases might be made for other situations, but that's the baseline they use. Because bodily shame was taught there - the boys wore long underwear year round (even sneaking off to swim, they only stripped to underclothes, not skinny dipping) - so Zeke couldn't say anyone was bruised from the whippings they got. Blood was never drawn, even the two times he was in serious trouble. His butt was often welted afterwards, but he didn't think they lasted too long. In other words, what he received was repugnant, but not really illegal.
When he managed to get up again, he had to undergo another lecture about the book, and it was burned. Then he was given another chance to confess. When he didn't, they told him to lie down again. When he refused, the three men forced him down, and he was held, arm and ankle, and whipped with the belt from shoulders past his knees. He says he screamed himself hoarse at that point.
When he managed to climb to his feet again, his father was gone, and they told him that foolishness and evil were bound in his heart, so he was being cast out. He had to leave in the clothes he had on, but one of his mother's managed to sneak out with a coat, some food, and a bit of money for him. He left that night. I think he was caught out after curfew the next night, picked up when he couldn't answer any of the officer's questions, which led, after several days of fact checking, to our meeting.
Yet once again, there's nothing in Texas law that says the punishment has to be on the buttocks. I hate when someone slaps a person's face, but if you're doing that to 'discipline' your kid, it's technically not illegal, even though it's much riskier than an actual spanking.
I think CPS is going to use Zeke's statement as justification to investigate and see how the kids are really being treated, but it's not enough to press charges against anyone.
So, the stop Zeke and I made before I dropped him off, was at the book store. I replaced the book which had been burned, which he had been in the middle of reading. Oh, and what was that 'sinful' book that caused all this? Robinson Crusoe.
Besides Robinson Crusoe, I picked out Swiss Family Robinson and My Side of the Mountain. Those should all be entertaining for him, and about his reading level. I also got him a fourth grade math workbook, and asked him to do a few of the pages. Once again, that's about the level he's at, so it should be practice, but it will also give me an idea of how rusty he is.
I don't think I mentioned that Zeke and I stopped at the grocery store. I'd done our regular shopping Thursday, but with him coming, the kids decided we needed to grill, so I needed burgers, dawgs, and the fixings, and I ended up getting some center cut pork chops for Sunday dinner.
Anyway, I offered to get something for him, if he had any favorites. He couldn't really tell me anything. When we were trying on clothes, I think he nearly broke down in tears when I asked him if he'd prefer pullover shirts, button fronts, or a mix. When I decided he should just have polos, he was able to pick the colors he liked, but the wider choice was too much for him. We went through the grocery store, getting the things we'd need, and he didn't ask for one thing. If had preferences for cookies, chips, and juice, he wouldn't tell me.
What I really came away with is, if I do take Zeke in, there are ways he's going to be less independent than Kenny. From what I've read about some of this type of groups, he's been raised having all his choices made for him, and he might be scared to put any opinion at all forward.
What that really means is that he's probably not capable of deciding if he wants to live with us. He showed he can stand up for himself (or to keep someone else out of trouble), but not much more. That means I'm probably going to spend the next several months with a shadow who thinks having fun is sinful. Unless there's really trouble with my boys (probably him not being able to stand this environment being the only trouble I can foresee), I just don't see that there's a choice about letting him come.
Anyway, I think that gets us up to date.
I have to admit that he seems like a nice kid. He's very eager to please. He's not stupid. He's not especially cute, but he's far from ugly. He is a bit small for 18, and I'd accept him as one of Ethan's friends easily. That should help him fit in at school, at least. I'm sure there'll be a ton of time bombs and booby traps coming over the next weeks, but I've survived that type of thing before.
And the next thing is figuring out where I'm going to put everyone, without resorting to Cappy's tents and cots.
After reading these old posts, I'm mad enough to kill someone. I'm only glad that their 'compound' was broken up and that some of the people involved went to prison. Since I'm not able to kill anyway, I called Zeke and Kix and they're joining us for dinner tonight - center cut pork chops, Stove Top, garlic green beans, roast vegetable medley, corn on the cob, and a cherry cobbler for dessert.
I picked Zeke up this morning. He and I stopped for a fast food breakfast (he's never been able to watch TV before, so he was fascinated by the idea of an Egg McMuffin'. After that, we took in a soccer game, then about half a baseball game.
He's met all my home kids now, and he's basically doing okay, except you all have an idea what Saturdays are like around here. He actually did okay through most of it. The only problem is those alien life forms from Venus who drop by. Mom's aren't a problem, but I thought his heart was going to stop when Elle showed up in a sun dress. Imagine if a Predator landed in your front yard, rang the bell, and asked to borrow a cup of sugar. I imagine your response would be about as coherent as Zeke when he was trying to talk to a girl.
Besides that, things are going okay. Most of the boys are playing ball. Zeke has no idea about the rules, but he's in good shape and reasonably coordinated, so he's catching on to the basics.
I talked to him just before logging on, because, we had to let the facility know if he was spending the night or not. He is. For tonight, he's going to stay in John's room.
He and John have already talked, and John shared his background. The two of them seem to get along okay. Colt has also spent some time talking to him. Zeke was never allowed to have pets, but he likes animals, and Van introduced him to all the four foots.
We're not having any guests tonight. We're going to do kebobs, with fruit kebobs for dessert, then we'll watch a movie. I'm trying to think of something that we all like, but that won't be too... overstimulating for Zeke - I'm leaning towards Disney's version of Swiss Family Robinson.
Things went well last night.
Probably because of the extreme body modesty he's been taught, it doesn't appear he was ever taught what I consider proper hygiene. I'd warned him that, despite his shyness, if he moved in with us, I was going to see him naked at least twice (assuming he behaves himself) - once to correct his hygiene problems, and once at the doctors. He suggested last night that we go ahead and take care of the first.
Zeke is an interesting case. He's very reticent and too respectful of authority, but he does okay one on one. He doesn't put himself forward, but he will talk, and he seems to be at least a bit more comfortable with the boys. At least he's not withdrawn, which I take as a good sign. Also, while he's not exactly docile, I think he might be too compliant.
He was in awe at my bathroom, and I explained that the tub was mostly for soaking out aches (though it's great for dealing with batches of younger boys), while the shower was for getting clean.
I rely on a top-down method, starting with my hair, and chasing all the dirt and stuff down as I scrub. He was in just his underwear while I demonstrated how to use everything, and explained that he needs to be very methodical to be sure he does everything. I showed him where everything was, how to set the shower, and left him to it.
He does have a bit of a problem with acne, so I showed him how to use the Proactiv stuff, then put him on the massage bench to work on his back.
While it's hard to clean your own back, this is really a great time for me to talk to the boys. Since they have a great excuse not to look at me, it really makes it easier to talk about almost anything. With Zeke, we had a long, rather rambling discussion.
Right now, Zeke is having a lot of cognitive dissonance. I think he knows that - at best - the place from where he comes was not a fair place. Still, it's hard to shake off the way you were raised. On top of that, he's being bombarded with a flood of new information - not just being in my house, around a lot of energetic, outgoing kids, but being exposed to things of which he's never heard or was told were evil.
I think dealing with Zeke is going to be a lot like dealing with a younger kid - the only 'good' thing is that he has already learned lessons about respecting boundaries that will help. Even that's a problem, though, because I'm going to be encouraging him to violate his old boundaries. That means I'm going to have to convince him those boundaries are wrong, but that mine are right. Fortunately, he is polite and nice, though quiet, and none of the boys seem to dislike him. Most of them seem to get along with him just fine. That means I should have help in introducing him to new things.
He did sleep in John's room last night. John put on lounge pants until he was ready for bed. You could tell my boys being undressed was a bit uncomfortable for him (like it's usually easy to tell the shy boys in a locker room, even if they aren't currently undressing themselves). He slept in pajamas last night. He understands that we do have a lot of casual nudity around here, especially in the summer, but he says he can deal with it.
Zeke seems to have three beliefs that will make him fitting in here pretty easy.
1) The father is the head of the household, and he seems to believe the converse is true (the head of the household is the father).
2) Boys need to be disciplined, and it should be physically.
3) He is still a boy.
From what Zeke told me, he was shocked at the idea that a certain birthday would make him legally an adult.
If you read Ephesians 5:31 - it says that a man shall leave his family and join his wife. Somehow, that has come to mean that, until you're married, you're a child. Zeke says there were two 'boys' older than him there.
And yes, Zeke has recently received physical punishment. He says he was whipped twice in March. I didn't try to get him to go into detail, but it sounds pretty similar to how Denny Archer used to get it - belt bare.
The first time, he and two other boys had snuck off, when they were supposed to be doing chores. An adult caught them and escorted them to their fathers.
The second time was his last evening there, and I'm going to have to cut off now, and talk about this later.
I never cared enough to figure out any of their so-called religious beliefs, except what I needed to understand to deal with Zeke. However, it sounds like it was set up similarly to some of the radical Mormon offshots, where the boys are free labor as long as they don't get too uppity, and the girls are basically used for procreative purposes (and free labor).
This is now coming from 11 April 2015, still before Zeke turned 18.
Okay, I need to get this out of the way, and it's best to do it while I have time to be by myself and calm down.
Zeke was caught with a book. He was chewed out for that, then taken to the barn, which seems to be where all his whippings had occurred since he was 'a little kid'. He'd known the book (basically any, non-religious book) was forbidden, and that he'd get into trouble if he was caught with it. He was stripped, had to lay down over something, and his but was whipped with a belt.
When he told me about the whipping he got for skipping out on his chores, I asked if he cried, and his response was 'not really.' He says he was starting to cry when this one was finished. When he was allowed up, two adults - one of them 'the Elder' - were there. While trying to cover himself with his hands, he was lectured again about wasting time reading 'non-sacred texts'. Then he was asked where he'd gotten it.
There was a boy, a bit younger than him, but bigger, who went into town when they purchased supplies, to help carry the larger stuff. He'd found the book, brought it back, read it, then passed it around. Zeke had no intention of saying who'd brought it, or who had given it to him.
When he refused, he was told to lay back down, and he was whipped again.
"I did cry that time."
The problem here is that, under Texas law, punishment becomes abuse when marks are left that last more than a day. Cases might be made for other situations, but that's the baseline they use. Because bodily shame was taught there - the boys wore long underwear year round (even sneaking off to swim, they only stripped to underclothes, not skinny dipping) - so Zeke couldn't say anyone was bruised from the whippings they got. Blood was never drawn, even the two times he was in serious trouble. His butt was often welted afterwards, but he didn't think they lasted too long. In other words, what he received was repugnant, but not really illegal.
When he managed to get up again, he had to undergo another lecture about the book, and it was burned. Then he was given another chance to confess. When he didn't, they told him to lie down again. When he refused, the three men forced him down, and he was held, arm and ankle, and whipped with the belt from shoulders past his knees. He says he screamed himself hoarse at that point.
When he managed to climb to his feet again, his father was gone, and they told him that foolishness and evil were bound in his heart, so he was being cast out. He had to leave in the clothes he had on, but one of his mother's managed to sneak out with a coat, some food, and a bit of money for him. He left that night. I think he was caught out after curfew the next night, picked up when he couldn't answer any of the officer's questions, which led, after several days of fact checking, to our meeting.
Yet once again, there's nothing in Texas law that says the punishment has to be on the buttocks. I hate when someone slaps a person's face, but if you're doing that to 'discipline' your kid, it's technically not illegal, even though it's much riskier than an actual spanking.
I think CPS is going to use Zeke's statement as justification to investigate and see how the kids are really being treated, but it's not enough to press charges against anyone.
So, the stop Zeke and I made before I dropped him off, was at the book store. I replaced the book which had been burned, which he had been in the middle of reading. Oh, and what was that 'sinful' book that caused all this? Robinson Crusoe.
Besides Robinson Crusoe, I picked out Swiss Family Robinson and My Side of the Mountain. Those should all be entertaining for him, and about his reading level. I also got him a fourth grade math workbook, and asked him to do a few of the pages. Once again, that's about the level he's at, so it should be practice, but it will also give me an idea of how rusty he is.
I don't think I mentioned that Zeke and I stopped at the grocery store. I'd done our regular shopping Thursday, but with him coming, the kids decided we needed to grill, so I needed burgers, dawgs, and the fixings, and I ended up getting some center cut pork chops for Sunday dinner.
Anyway, I offered to get something for him, if he had any favorites. He couldn't really tell me anything. When we were trying on clothes, I think he nearly broke down in tears when I asked him if he'd prefer pullover shirts, button fronts, or a mix. When I decided he should just have polos, he was able to pick the colors he liked, but the wider choice was too much for him. We went through the grocery store, getting the things we'd need, and he didn't ask for one thing. If had preferences for cookies, chips, and juice, he wouldn't tell me.
What I really came away with is, if I do take Zeke in, there are ways he's going to be less independent than Kenny. From what I've read about some of this type of groups, he's been raised having all his choices made for him, and he might be scared to put any opinion at all forward.
What that really means is that he's probably not capable of deciding if he wants to live with us. He showed he can stand up for himself (or to keep someone else out of trouble), but not much more. That means I'm probably going to spend the next several months with a shadow who thinks having fun is sinful. Unless there's really trouble with my boys (probably him not being able to stand this environment being the only trouble I can foresee), I just don't see that there's a choice about letting him come.
Anyway, I think that gets us up to date.
I have to admit that he seems like a nice kid. He's very eager to please. He's not stupid. He's not especially cute, but he's far from ugly. He is a bit small for 18, and I'd accept him as one of Ethan's friends easily. That should help him fit in at school, at least. I'm sure there'll be a ton of time bombs and booby traps coming over the next weeks, but I've survived that type of thing before.
And the next thing is figuring out where I'm going to put everyone, without resorting to Cappy's tents and cots.
After reading these old posts, I'm mad enough to kill someone. I'm only glad that their 'compound' was broken up and that some of the people involved went to prison. Since I'm not able to kill anyway, I called Zeke and Kix and they're joining us for dinner tonight - center cut pork chops, Stove Top, garlic green beans, roast vegetable medley, corn on the cob, and a cherry cobbler for dessert.
I picked Zeke up this morning. He and I stopped for a fast food breakfast (he's never been able to watch TV before, so he was fascinated by the idea of an Egg McMuffin'. After that, we took in a soccer game, then about half a baseball game.
He's met all my home kids now, and he's basically doing okay, except you all have an idea what Saturdays are like around here. He actually did okay through most of it. The only problem is those alien life forms from Venus who drop by. Mom's aren't a problem, but I thought his heart was going to stop when Elle showed up in a sun dress. Imagine if a Predator landed in your front yard, rang the bell, and asked to borrow a cup of sugar. I imagine your response would be about as coherent as Zeke when he was trying to talk to a girl.
Besides that, things are going okay. Most of the boys are playing ball. Zeke has no idea about the rules, but he's in good shape and reasonably coordinated, so he's catching on to the basics.
I talked to him just before logging on, because, we had to let the facility know if he was spending the night or not. He is. For tonight, he's going to stay in John's room.
He and John have already talked, and John shared his background. The two of them seem to get along okay. Colt has also spent some time talking to him. Zeke was never allowed to have pets, but he likes animals, and Van introduced him to all the four foots.
We're not having any guests tonight. We're going to do kebobs, with fruit kebobs for dessert, then we'll watch a movie. I'm trying to think of something that we all like, but that won't be too... overstimulating for Zeke - I'm leaning towards Disney's version of Swiss Family Robinson.
Things went well last night.
Probably because of the extreme body modesty he's been taught, it doesn't appear he was ever taught what I consider proper hygiene. I'd warned him that, despite his shyness, if he moved in with us, I was going to see him naked at least twice (assuming he behaves himself) - once to correct his hygiene problems, and once at the doctors. He suggested last night that we go ahead and take care of the first.
Zeke is an interesting case. He's very reticent and too respectful of authority, but he does okay one on one. He doesn't put himself forward, but he will talk, and he seems to be at least a bit more comfortable with the boys. At least he's not withdrawn, which I take as a good sign. Also, while he's not exactly docile, I think he might be too compliant.
He was in awe at my bathroom, and I explained that the tub was mostly for soaking out aches (though it's great for dealing with batches of younger boys), while the shower was for getting clean.
I rely on a top-down method, starting with my hair, and chasing all the dirt and stuff down as I scrub. He was in just his underwear while I demonstrated how to use everything, and explained that he needs to be very methodical to be sure he does everything. I showed him where everything was, how to set the shower, and left him to it.
He does have a bit of a problem with acne, so I showed him how to use the Proactiv stuff, then put him on the massage bench to work on his back.
While it's hard to clean your own back, this is really a great time for me to talk to the boys. Since they have a great excuse not to look at me, it really makes it easier to talk about almost anything. With Zeke, we had a long, rather rambling discussion.
Right now, Zeke is having a lot of cognitive dissonance. I think he knows that - at best - the place from where he comes was not a fair place. Still, it's hard to shake off the way you were raised. On top of that, he's being bombarded with a flood of new information - not just being in my house, around a lot of energetic, outgoing kids, but being exposed to things of which he's never heard or was told were evil.
I think dealing with Zeke is going to be a lot like dealing with a younger kid - the only 'good' thing is that he has already learned lessons about respecting boundaries that will help. Even that's a problem, though, because I'm going to be encouraging him to violate his old boundaries. That means I'm going to have to convince him those boundaries are wrong, but that mine are right. Fortunately, he is polite and nice, though quiet, and none of the boys seem to dislike him. Most of them seem to get along with him just fine. That means I should have help in introducing him to new things.
He did sleep in John's room last night. John put on lounge pants until he was ready for bed. You could tell my boys being undressed was a bit uncomfortable for him (like it's usually easy to tell the shy boys in a locker room, even if they aren't currently undressing themselves). He slept in pajamas last night. He understands that we do have a lot of casual nudity around here, especially in the summer, but he says he can deal with it.
Posted by: Jack
« on: February 23, 2025, 12:17:55 pm »There have been complaints with the quote function on this forum being hard to read, so I will say that the following information was saved from the old forum and originally posted in my blog, on 9 April 2015.
The first part of this was just a rant on how many boys were living here and how overwhelmed I was feeling at the time, so I omitted it.
And because of that, you feel safe answering the phone, when you see it's your contact with Child Protective Services.
Maybe you should have broke the phone, changed the number, and moved.
"Have you ever heard of a lost boy?" the conversation starts. Then, because she knows you, she quickly adds that she doesn't mean Peter Pan.
Lost boys are kids who are ejected from sects (particularly the Fundamental Church of Latter Day Saints). I won't go into the reasons for that here, but these kids usually have little or no real education, and some of them don't even have any identification (there were articles earlier in the year about a girl here in Texas who was having that problem after leaving her parents).
The long and short of it is, CPS has a lost boy. The reason this is a problem is that he reads at a 6.1, does math on a 4.7, and has history, current events, and science knowledge that is practially non-existent. The boy needs a few (several?) years of remedial study before he would even be able to start studying for his GED. The reason they came to me is because he's going to be 18 in about 2 weeks, which means he's going to fall through the cracks before they can even get him into the system.
I met the kid this afternoon. He's not stupid, he just hasn't had a chance to learn. He obviously needs some help and training in a variety of things. He's small for his age - looking more like he's about to turn 14 than 18.
I kind of go through a hard time anytime I think of taking in a new kid - and no matter what his chronological age, he is a kid, and will likely be a dependent for a number of years. Because of his raising, he won't really fit in with my other kids. It's kind of funny, because I was worried about John, but John turned out great. With John, I was worried that he'd been having behavior problems. With this kid, I'm worried because he's confused, scared to death, and they say he's either pathologically shy or extremely introverted (though having talked to him, I think it's a combination of shy and overwhelmed).
With four kids graduating high school, and Clay and Zack being young adults and not needing as much attention, I felt like I was finally going to be climbing on top of things. I'm not worried about making a commitment to this kid; I'm worried about shorting my other kids, or not shorting them, and not being able to give this one what he needs.
Right now, they're trying to rush his case. If he can get approved before he turns 18, there are ways he can stay in foster care until he's 22, as long as he's working on his education. But they literally have 13 days to do it, and I'm not sure how far they have to go (paperwork in motion, or actually complete and approved?). Also, that means derailing a LOT of people ahead of him to get it done.
Right now, I'm going to talk to the older kids today, and see what they think. After that, I might talk to the younger kids. After that... --->
After meeting with Zeke today, and talking to CPS about him, i came home and did some reading. This article seems to reflect a lot of the things I heard from/about Zeke.
Boys Face a New World (edit: lost this link, sorry, but maybe you can Google the title?)
For those interested, I thought it might help understand the situation better.
Just to clarify, adoption isn't an option in this case.* The problem is that, with court lead time, investigation time, and the required hearings, there's no way to get him into the system before he ages out.
I found something last night that explains the benefits available from foster care for adults that will help explain the problem: Transition and Aging Out. I was shocked to realize that, in this one instance, Texas seems to be the best in the nation. Still, the problem is that this is for people aging out of the system, not for adults who aren't in the system, which is why Zeke is such a problem. There just is no one size fits all solution, and sometimes odd cases just slip through the cracks.
I did talk to the kids after supper last night. I pointed out that Zeke has been raised in an unusual situation, he hasn't had much education, and what he has had is very different from how we run our house. I admitted that he might require a lot of time and attention that would have to come from some place, and that he might not fit in or that he might cause disruptions.
"Like me?" John said.
I think the questions that everything else hinged on were from Colt and Kenny.
"Will you still tuck us in and read to us at night?"
"Will you still run my cubby pack?"
Once they were sure the answers were unequivocally yes, they agreed.
I had to ask Christian what he thought. He was shocked at the idea he got to have an opinion, but he thought it was a good idea.
There's no rain forecast today and only a 20% chance tomorrow, so we'll hopefully get to play all our games, and maybe even a make up or two.
We'd already made tentative plans for Zeke to spend Saturday with us. I'll pick him up at 8am, and he can spend part of the time at games with me and running around.
My biggest problem right now is where we'd put him. He'll have the option of staying with us tomorrow night, but he can either share with John or have a guest room. If he's going to live here, I want him in the teen area, where the other boys will be around, for a number of reasons. Once summer draws to an end, and I have 4 (FOUR!!!!) boys leaving for college, that won't be a huge problem. Until then, especially over the summer, when Daniel, Cal, and Tracy come home (and Charlie will be here about a month), things are going to be a bit cramped.
All right, there's way too much stuff for one sitting, so I'm going to jump in and see how much I can do for now.
I decided that Zeke and I needed to spend some one on one time together, which won't be possible this weekend. He's really just in a holding pattern right now, not doing anything, so I called and arranged to take him out with me this morning.
I started by calling BCA, talking to Mr. P, then talking to Toby (Kirk - the principal at BHS). Neither of them had any real experience with something like this. I think Mr. P had the best idea, which would be (starting next fall) to put Zeke in a remedial, high school Language Arts class, which he should be able to handle, then put him in a gym class and an elective or two. The rest of his time would be split between independent study - basically reading texts and selected books to help familiarize him with the basics he's missed, and a tutor. That would give him the benefit of meeting new people and being in a class environment with him, but it would also give him the education he's needing.
Both of them promised to call around and see if they can talk to someone in the Utah/Arizona area, where this seems to be a bit more common.
I think all of us agree it would be best to not worry about starting him this spring. We're about to start the last six weeks, and he's already going to be dealing with a ton of stuff.
Normally on Fridays, I take restocks to the stores, and do walk throughs to make sure everything is up to par. Zeke joined me in that, and we stopped to have lunch at Ruben's. He had no idea what to order, or even how to order. He said he'd eat anything, so we each had a Rebecca, with lemon bars for dessert.
Afterwards we went around to the stores, then we came to the house.
He loves the animals, though he was surprised to see cats and rabbits acting like dogs.
He left with only the clothes he was wearing, and they don't have tons of clothes available in all sizes, so we went downstairs and got him a couple of changes of good clothes. We stopped and bought him a back pack (to carry everything) and a new pair of shoes. I have to say that he's very body-modest. He didn't hesitate too much about undressing to try the clothes on, but he did mostly keep his back turned to me. He now has two good pair of slacks, three shirts, and four pair of socks, underpants, and tees.
By that point, it was getting late in the day, and I wanted to save him the trauma of being here when the ravaging (ravenous) hordes arrived, so I took him back, and made sure to remind him to be ready for me in the morning.
We did make one more stop, but I need to digress before coming to that
The first part of this was just a rant on how many boys were living here and how overwhelmed I was feeling at the time, so I omitted it.
And because of that, you feel safe answering the phone, when you see it's your contact with Child Protective Services.
Maybe you should have broke the phone, changed the number, and moved.
"Have you ever heard of a lost boy?" the conversation starts. Then, because she knows you, she quickly adds that she doesn't mean Peter Pan.
Lost boys are kids who are ejected from sects (particularly the Fundamental Church of Latter Day Saints). I won't go into the reasons for that here, but these kids usually have little or no real education, and some of them don't even have any identification (there were articles earlier in the year about a girl here in Texas who was having that problem after leaving her parents).
The long and short of it is, CPS has a lost boy. The reason this is a problem is that he reads at a 6.1, does math on a 4.7, and has history, current events, and science knowledge that is practially non-existent. The boy needs a few (several?) years of remedial study before he would even be able to start studying for his GED. The reason they came to me is because he's going to be 18 in about 2 weeks, which means he's going to fall through the cracks before they can even get him into the system.
I met the kid this afternoon. He's not stupid, he just hasn't had a chance to learn. He obviously needs some help and training in a variety of things. He's small for his age - looking more like he's about to turn 14 than 18.
I kind of go through a hard time anytime I think of taking in a new kid - and no matter what his chronological age, he is a kid, and will likely be a dependent for a number of years. Because of his raising, he won't really fit in with my other kids. It's kind of funny, because I was worried about John, but John turned out great. With John, I was worried that he'd been having behavior problems. With this kid, I'm worried because he's confused, scared to death, and they say he's either pathologically shy or extremely introverted (though having talked to him, I think it's a combination of shy and overwhelmed).
With four kids graduating high school, and Clay and Zack being young adults and not needing as much attention, I felt like I was finally going to be climbing on top of things. I'm not worried about making a commitment to this kid; I'm worried about shorting my other kids, or not shorting them, and not being able to give this one what he needs.
Right now, they're trying to rush his case. If he can get approved before he turns 18, there are ways he can stay in foster care until he's 22, as long as he's working on his education. But they literally have 13 days to do it, and I'm not sure how far they have to go (paperwork in motion, or actually complete and approved?). Also, that means derailing a LOT of people ahead of him to get it done.
Right now, I'm going to talk to the older kids today, and see what they think. After that, I might talk to the younger kids. After that... --->
After meeting with Zeke today, and talking to CPS about him, i came home and did some reading. This article seems to reflect a lot of the things I heard from/about Zeke.
Boys Face a New World (edit: lost this link, sorry, but maybe you can Google the title?)
For those interested, I thought it might help understand the situation better.
Just to clarify, adoption isn't an option in this case.* The problem is that, with court lead time, investigation time, and the required hearings, there's no way to get him into the system before he ages out.
I found something last night that explains the benefits available from foster care for adults that will help explain the problem: Transition and Aging Out. I was shocked to realize that, in this one instance, Texas seems to be the best in the nation. Still, the problem is that this is for people aging out of the system, not for adults who aren't in the system, which is why Zeke is such a problem. There just is no one size fits all solution, and sometimes odd cases just slip through the cracks.
I did talk to the kids after supper last night. I pointed out that Zeke has been raised in an unusual situation, he hasn't had much education, and what he has had is very different from how we run our house. I admitted that he might require a lot of time and attention that would have to come from some place, and that he might not fit in or that he might cause disruptions.
"Like me?" John said.
I think the questions that everything else hinged on were from Colt and Kenny.
"Will you still tuck us in and read to us at night?"
"Will you still run my cubby pack?"
Once they were sure the answers were unequivocally yes, they agreed.
I had to ask Christian what he thought. He was shocked at the idea he got to have an opinion, but he thought it was a good idea.
There's no rain forecast today and only a 20% chance tomorrow, so we'll hopefully get to play all our games, and maybe even a make up or two.
We'd already made tentative plans for Zeke to spend Saturday with us. I'll pick him up at 8am, and he can spend part of the time at games with me and running around.
My biggest problem right now is where we'd put him. He'll have the option of staying with us tomorrow night, but he can either share with John or have a guest room. If he's going to live here, I want him in the teen area, where the other boys will be around, for a number of reasons. Once summer draws to an end, and I have 4 (FOUR!!!!) boys leaving for college, that won't be a huge problem. Until then, especially over the summer, when Daniel, Cal, and Tracy come home (and Charlie will be here about a month), things are going to be a bit cramped.
All right, there's way too much stuff for one sitting, so I'm going to jump in and see how much I can do for now.
I decided that Zeke and I needed to spend some one on one time together, which won't be possible this weekend. He's really just in a holding pattern right now, not doing anything, so I called and arranged to take him out with me this morning.
I started by calling BCA, talking to Mr. P, then talking to Toby (Kirk - the principal at BHS). Neither of them had any real experience with something like this. I think Mr. P had the best idea, which would be (starting next fall) to put Zeke in a remedial, high school Language Arts class, which he should be able to handle, then put him in a gym class and an elective or two. The rest of his time would be split between independent study - basically reading texts and selected books to help familiarize him with the basics he's missed, and a tutor. That would give him the benefit of meeting new people and being in a class environment with him, but it would also give him the education he's needing.
Both of them promised to call around and see if they can talk to someone in the Utah/Arizona area, where this seems to be a bit more common.
I think all of us agree it would be best to not worry about starting him this spring. We're about to start the last six weeks, and he's already going to be dealing with a ton of stuff.
Normally on Fridays, I take restocks to the stores, and do walk throughs to make sure everything is up to par. Zeke joined me in that, and we stopped to have lunch at Ruben's. He had no idea what to order, or even how to order. He said he'd eat anything, so we each had a Rebecca, with lemon bars for dessert.
Afterwards we went around to the stores, then we came to the house.
He loves the animals, though he was surprised to see cats and rabbits acting like dogs.
He left with only the clothes he was wearing, and they don't have tons of clothes available in all sizes, so we went downstairs and got him a couple of changes of good clothes. We stopped and bought him a back pack (to carry everything) and a new pair of shoes. I have to say that he's very body-modest. He didn't hesitate too much about undressing to try the clothes on, but he did mostly keep his back turned to me. He now has two good pair of slacks, three shirts, and four pair of socks, underpants, and tees.
By that point, it was getting late in the day, and I wanted to save him the trauma of being here when the ravaging (ravenous) hordes arrived, so I took him back, and made sure to remind him to be ready for me in the morning.
We did make one more stop, but I need to digress before coming to that
Posted by: Leti
« on: February 23, 2025, 09:05:29 am » Hola Jack
It is great that Zac and Kix found each other.
You mentioned that:
“As a reminder, Kix was expected to be a juvenile male, and just turning 18 didn't change that. He was never expected to have sex, so he'd been taught nothing about it.”
Who expected that? His parents?
Thanks for the update.
Leti
It is great that Zac and Kix found each other.
You mentioned that:
“As a reminder, Kix was expected to be a juvenile male, and just turning 18 didn't change that. He was never expected to have sex, so he'd been taught nothing about it.”
Who expected that? His parents?
Thanks for the update.
Leti
Posted by: Jack
« on: February 23, 2025, 01:36:41 am »Zeke 22-Apr-97
UF/AA
I said elsewhere that I'd really hoped Garret and Zeke would room together, but I think it worked out for the best that they didn't.
First of all, Zeke stayed with construction carpentry. He's currently close to halfway through his apprenticeship, and we've talked about him also doing trade school to increase his skill set. My goal is to set him up someplace where he can have a good-sized workshop, so he can do construction during the building season and do bespoke projects during the bad weather periods.
Zeke and Kix are both technically still subject to corporal correction, and there is still a paddle there (and they both have good hair and bath brushes there if I need them). Kix doesn't really need spanking, but he accepts it both because Zeke isn't quite ready to do without it, and because I am paying so many of his bills right now. With Zeke, I've only used it once in about 3 1/2 or 4 years, and I used it twice with Kix - once at the same time Zeke got it last, not long after they moved in together, and the other time for some problems with his school deal.
Zeke and Kix are living in a two bedroom, and they each have their own room. Kix never really came out to his parents, and he was a virgin until 20. Because of that, I had the talk with both of them, adn gave Kix some detailed instructions on how to be, not just safe, but gentle.
As a reminder, Kix was expected to be a juvenile male, and just turning 18 didn't change that. He was never expected to have sex, so he'd been taught nothing about it.
One of Kix's chores for me is to supervise Zeke in doing daily chores. Basically the two of them end up doing a lot of stuff togehter, like paying bills, grocery shopping, planning a menu.
Oh, both of them are frequent guests over here. They live in a duplex now, so they're here a lot to use the pool in the summer. Zeke has asked about Reynard coming to live with them, now that they have a backyard, but Renny is still used to living with a lot of other animals. Instead, they've talked about getting a couple of puppers, but they're not in a rush so they can make sure to select the right ones. In the meantime, Zeke is still loving the hamsters.
UF/AA
I said elsewhere that I'd really hoped Garret and Zeke would room together, but I think it worked out for the best that they didn't.
First of all, Zeke stayed with construction carpentry. He's currently close to halfway through his apprenticeship, and we've talked about him also doing trade school to increase his skill set. My goal is to set him up someplace where he can have a good-sized workshop, so he can do construction during the building season and do bespoke projects during the bad weather periods.
Zeke and Kix are both technically still subject to corporal correction, and there is still a paddle there (and they both have good hair and bath brushes there if I need them). Kix doesn't really need spanking, but he accepts it both because Zeke isn't quite ready to do without it, and because I am paying so many of his bills right now. With Zeke, I've only used it once in about 3 1/2 or 4 years, and I used it twice with Kix - once at the same time Zeke got it last, not long after they moved in together, and the other time for some problems with his school deal.
Zeke and Kix are living in a two bedroom, and they each have their own room. Kix never really came out to his parents, and he was a virgin until 20. Because of that, I had the talk with both of them, adn gave Kix some detailed instructions on how to be, not just safe, but gentle.
As a reminder, Kix was expected to be a juvenile male, and just turning 18 didn't change that. He was never expected to have sex, so he'd been taught nothing about it.
One of Kix's chores for me is to supervise Zeke in doing daily chores. Basically the two of them end up doing a lot of stuff togehter, like paying bills, grocery shopping, planning a menu.
Oh, both of them are frequent guests over here. They live in a duplex now, so they're here a lot to use the pool in the summer. Zeke has asked about Reynard coming to live with them, now that they have a backyard, but Renny is still used to living with a lot of other animals. Instead, they've talked about getting a couple of puppers, but they're not in a rush so they can make sure to select the right ones. In the meantime, Zeke is still loving the hamsters.
Posted by: db105
« on: February 19, 2025, 09:12:00 pm »Well, I'm glad Zeke is doing fine. That young man had a tough start in life, and you really made a difference for him.
Posted by: kalico
« on: September 06, 2023, 02:42:59 pm »thanks for the update Jack
Im happy for this young mans...happy things have worked out.
hehehe paddle and brush
hugs kal
Im happy for this young mans...happy things have worked out.
hehehe paddle and brush
hugs kal
Posted by: Lia
« on: July 09, 2023, 07:46:18 pm »Thanks for the update Jack. I can’t believe he is already 26! Glad he is doing well.